This poem may NOT be suitable reading for all and is extremely personal and heavy and demonstrates a very sensitive area that many, if not all of us, have been in during our careers. We all know of the lost of a Brother or Sister in this most tragic of ways. If you are "on the edge," this poem speaks to you and you need help - please e-mail me now. Further help may be found at "Your Closest Back-Up!"

If you are a member of the General Public and you don't realize the stresses that LEO's go through to "Protect & Serve" you - you need to! Another great poem you should read is - The Life of a Police Officer

Another day at work, more blood and guts
Am I still human or becoming a nut
Voices screaming, waiting to die
Why are these memories making me cry

The time has come, relief is here
Something is stirring, I know this is fear
The locker room I go, off comes the job
Another late night, better buy some grog

The locker's closed the cuffs away
My gun comes home, is this the last day
Im hurting inside, don't know where to turn
I know one day I will crash and burn

Arriving at home, no one is here
All I can hear a whisper in my ear
Drink up son, you won't remember
The look of the eight year old, you found dismembered

Another drink the tears are here
Now I am starting to tremble with fear
I look around, my minds a mess
Looking for something, I'm in distress

There it is shiny and bold
Looking at me like I am old
Only young but so much pain
Should I end this, Yep I am game

Another drink, I'm dizzy and hot
Now is the time to get a clear shot
I open the chamber, in goes the rounds
Now I'm laughing like a clown

Last look in the mirror once and for all
Now the tears are becoming a ball
The steel is cold up against my head
Soon to be turning the colour red

I am crying so hard I cannot breath
My eyes are swelling I cannot see
The time is here my arm is sore
It won't be long till I'm in the morgue

I stand there silent wondering why
I can't pull the trigger, do I want to die
My finger is frozen, my face a lie
My life is misery, I was born to die

I swallow hard take a deep breath
Oh please God bring me some death
Yes it's here here it comes
I'm screaming now, it's not that long

The bullet rips through my brain
No more me, no more pain
I lay there bleeding all over the place
Look at the expressions on their face

Floating above, the job is done
Looking at my body my brains are gone
Coppers are there, wondering why
I have just noticed I can fly

Now an angel I look over some
Ones I care about many I love
I won't let this happen again and again
Welcome to the world of coppers strain.

Constable Christopher Goodman

Used with Special Permission of the Author
Copyright © 19 October 1998 - All Rights Reserved

and may not be duplicated without permission

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